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I am the most boring person alive.
I could live on Spaghetti Os with "meatballs" and Burger King if I didn't fear I'd get some sort of spooky fake meat poisoning. So I throw in Mt Dew, cigarettes, chili, chicken and a monthly chocolate binge (I had an english teacher.. Ms. Stewart.. she always told us never to put a comma before the word "and"... NEVER!.. Why that stuck with me, I'll never know...).
Got up this afternoon... had a smoke... went to take a piss and put my thumb right through the side of this cheap pair of underoos... still wearing them anyhow... 2 cans of pop and half a pack of smokes in 2 and a half hours... already gotta pee again.
When ya stick yer head out the door and the fresh air sears your lungs and the sunshine pains your eyes, there's something wrong.
Time to take a shower... don't feel like it.
Time to look for a job... don't feel like it.
Been watching SpongeBob and X Files til I decide to play video games.
I got a thing in the mail.. I got a fine for not paying to park in a parking lot that I used to park in.. I never paid it. Now this thing tells me I owe $40.. Still not gonna pay it. I'm saving some cash to go see Jackass: The Movie... Those guys are my favorite kinda guys.. tasty-obnoxious.
People make fun of me when they see a straw sticking out of my can of Mt Dew.
"Why the hell are you using a straw?"
"I like straws."
"But it's a fucking can, you fuckwit!"
"Hey, I can pretend that this way, less pop is coming into direct contact with my rapidly decaying teeth."
I get tired of thinking sometimes and wish I was born a basic moron.
I get tired of money sometimes and wish I was born a trust fund baby.
Someone has called me about a dozen times today and hung up.. I wonder who it is.
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Ok..
Have a safe day.
--Biggy G.
